I haven't "blogged" in awhile. I didn't realize that I even had posts up honestly. But since those last few posts, life has gotten a LOT better. I'm off all medications, yes, even the depression ones. And for once in my life I feel alive. I can think, I can feel, and it's good! I'm not worried about my past creeping up on me because I'm through letting it control me. I'm a survivor. I have strengths I didn't realize I had and I love learning about the new ones I find in me every day.
I get married in a few months and I hope that goes well. Right now, that's the only thing bringing me down, my wedding. My only family coming is my sister, my mother, & my mom's cousin (who is VERY dear to my heart). But I guess the most important thing is my CHOSEN family is coming. Those people in my life that I know will always love me. It's weird knowing that these friends I can never lose, nor do I want to. It's empowering. For most of my life I thought I was broken, I was unlovable. But these friends have proven that I'm not. That I am worth something and that regardless of how I feel, I KNOW someone cares about me.
Then there is my fiance. He is the most amazing man I've ever met. He's honest (most of the time), caring (all of the time), gentle, sweet, and just a great person. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would marry a man like this. I didn't think I could ever be this lucky.
And instead of being depressed, I realize I'm lucky. I may have the worst health luck in this world, but damn it, I'm the luckiest when it comes to friends and loved ones. :)